After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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