Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
