I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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