Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
