It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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