We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize