period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
