Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
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while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
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if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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