ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
