I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
