I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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