yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
