Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
