i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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