It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
zippers are such a cool invention
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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