All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
