Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So many bounce houses so little time
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
