Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
