i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Someone shattered a urinal.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
