she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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