I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
