ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
