I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
