remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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