You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
