whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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