I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
