turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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