I am in a vortex of obligation.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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