I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize