He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
