I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
