Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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