And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
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