i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize