I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
