just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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