Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
