I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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