2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
