yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
