if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
