my vag is so smooth its legendary
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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