Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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