The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize