I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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