So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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