Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
