and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
