I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
