I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
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My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
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You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize