I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
