Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Also, beer. Big fan.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
