Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
