Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize