TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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