and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My penis needs a shock collar
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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